4/19/2014
It is crazy kitty day Live today on ustream
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Thank you so much for all the wonderful gifts from our Amazon wish list!!
http://amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/14VUTQST8F5XH
Thank you Alison Belknap for the Amazon Gift Card!
Thank you Donna Bailey for the Amazon Gift Card
Thank you Hand Made by My Monkey for the vaccines!
Thank you Diana Frankel for the dry cat food and freshstep!
Thank you unnamed for the toys, foods, giant egg, water filters, play cubes!
Sadly they did not tell us your name and they NEVER give us your contact information!
Thank you Angelica for the foods and tunnels!
Thank you Emille Keizer for the catnip toys!
Thank you Melissa Franklin for the toy!
Thank you Emily ONeill for the foods!
Thank you Helen Halliday for the toys and food!
Thank you kathryn Colemen for the toys!
Thank you Alicia Richmond for the scratch and rest!
Thank you Anne Hyatt for the foods!
Thank you Michelle Smith for the food and toys!
Thank you Corey McAninch for the food and trash bags!
Thank you Ericka Villanueva for the toys and food!
Thank you Susannah Held for the foods!
Thank you Christina Scanlon for the foods, basket, bird feeder and goodies!
Thank you Renee Backstrom for the food!
Thank you Marilyn Rumschlag for the cleaner and magic erasers!
Thank you Diane Moser for the beds and autographed book!
Thank you Mariana Cajaiba for the litter and toys!
Thank you Dora Pingel for the foods and catnip!
Pet Loss and Grieving
By Jill Anne Sparapany
Many of
us have experienced the loss of a beloved pet. The loss may have been a natural
death (i.e. pet passes away in its sleep), from traumatic injuries and/or euthanasia. If you are a current
pet owner and have not lived through pet loss, that day will come for you too.
Why does it hurt so much? Because these furry family members give us
unconditional love! Unlike those family holiday get-togethers that we look
forward to with anxiety and knotted stomachs, our pets don’t critique our
cooking, our housekeeping skills or how we raise our children. They are so
happy to see us when we come home, brush their fur, pet and talk to them. There
is nothing as comforting as having our cats curled up on our lap, gently purring.
Our
pets enrich our lives in ways no one else can and our bond with them is felt in
our hearts and souls. I say the bond is within our souls because deep down, we
believe we will see our beloved pets again. “The Rainbow Bridge” is about that
reunion, when our pets are anxiously waiting to see us as much as we are to see
them.
There
are two important things to remember:
1.
You
are not alone. You will feel many things in grieving the loss of your pet.
2.
You
will survive. Repeat, you will survive! There are days when you may doubt this,
but remember, tomorrow the sun will rise again and you will get out of bed and
go about your day.
Does
this mean you have forgotten your beloved pet? Certainly Not! You will never forget your beloved pet. But as each
day passes, gradually, your grief softens and will be replaced with fond
memories. Your heartbreak will not hurt as much and you will remember the love
you shared with your pet.
You are
surviving and going through the
grieving process. It is a process every one of us experiences with loss
– loss of health, loss of our spouse, child or parent, loss of our job and
income, loss of our pets.
I will
be writing a series of articles about pet loss and the process of grieving and
what you can do to get through those difficult times until you remember the
unconditional love and smile. Many people may believe in a Supreme Being or
not, but there seems to be an “Order to our Universe” and, therefore, our
lives. In that Order of the Universe, we come in contact with many people,
through family relationships or by chance, and pets that we choose or pets that
choose us. Every experience in life reminds us we are alive and provides life
lessons.
What is grief? There
are many definitions, but this is the best one I found:
Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of
someone or something to which an intimate bond was formed. Although conventionally focused on the
emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral,
social, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used
interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the
reaction to loss. Grief is a natural response to loss – any loss
Everyone responds to loss and grieves in unique ways – there are
common behavioral, emotional and physical signs and symptoms that grieving
people experience.
Behavioral/Mental experiences
may be:
Confusion
– memory, concentration, judgment, comprehension difficulties.
Intrusion
– of unwanted thoughts, arousal and nightmares.
Dissociation
– feelings of detachment, disorientation, unreality, denial.
Emotional
experiences include:
Shock
Fear,
anxiety or apprehension
Anger,
irritability or agitation
Guilt
Helplessness,
hopelessness
Numbness,
depression
Physical
experiences that may be observed or felt:
Fatigue
and exhaustion – may be alternating with times of high energy and alertness
Difficulty
sleeping
Disturbances
in appetite – more or less than normal
Nausea
with or without dizziness
Stomach
and/or intestinal problems
Muscle
tremors
Chills
and/or sweating
Difficulty
breathing, rapid respiratory rate (hyperventilation)
Increased
blood pressure or heart rate
Temporary
hearing loss or vision impairment – may be associated with dissociation
There are the five stages of grief – outlining our passage from
initially learning about the loss to final integration of that loss into our
present and moving forward in the planning our lives. First described by Dr.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, these stages were listed in order of our movement
through them. Some people may not experience all of these stages and may not go
through them in this particular order.
1.
Denial. Being
unable or unwilling to accept that the loss has occurred or is about to occur. Feelings
of being in a bad dream and unable to escape or ‘wake up’. Feeling life is
unreal, expectations of things being normal.
2.
Anger. After accepting the loss has occurred
or about to occur, feeling angry at the loss and the unfairness of it. Anger
may be directed at the person who has been lost or dying. Abandonment feelings
occur with the anger stage.
3.
Bargaining and
begging with their “Order of the Universe” Supreme Being in an attempt to
reverse the loss. Typical thoughts are, “I’ll change…I’ll do (promising)…if you
bring (my pet) back to me.”
4.
Depression.
When anger and bargaining fail, depression is common at this
time. Realization that the loss is real and nothing will change the
inevitability of the loss. Physical manifestations are withdrawing from
activities and relationships during mental processing of the loss; alterations
in sleeping and/or eating habits and
crying. Mentally, blaming themselves for causing or contributing to the loss,
justified or not.
5.
Acceptance. The grief
emotions – anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, fear, anger, guilt, depression
– have been resolved; acknowledgment the loss is real and cannot be reversed. Focus
is now on living daily life again, finding meaningful paths toward their
future.
When we lose our beloved pets, we feel our pain will crush us.
It feels unbearable and we can’t imagine how we will ever survive this loss. In
the beginning, you are filled with pain and deep sorrow. Your pet is not with
you physically and your only thought is: I want him back!
Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. You may feel
you have moved through one stage of grief, then go back through it. That’s
normal!
Future articles will focus on how to cope with your own grief, what’s
“normal”, euthanasia decisions, memorializing your pet, and are thoughts of
adopting another pet being disloyal. There are many ways of coping with your
grief and everyone can develop their own strategy for integrating these into
their life.
Please Note: If
you experience severe depression, feelings of hopelessness or have suicidal
thoughts, seek out professional help immediately! Avoid self-medicating your
depression and hopelessness with alcohol and substance abuse – seek
professional help immediately!
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