Losing Loved Pets - Do Cats Grieve, Too?

When one of our beloved pets dies it is a devastating and heartbreaking experience.  It's true that our grief doesn't go away, we just learn how to cope with it.  If you lose one of your beloved cats, have you ever wondered if the other cats in the family grieve the loss like we do?

The answer is yes, they do.  While many still believe cats are aloof and unfeeling, there is a lot of data and experience to debunk that.  In fact, it's now acknowledged that cats do feel emotions like contentment, happiness and anger to name a few.  They also form attachments to their people and the other cats they live with.   So, how do cats show grief for a lost member of their family?

Cats experience their world differently from the way humans do, so that's the place to start to figure out how the death of a companion cat impacts the other cats in the home.  A cat's world revolves around routine - which usually means set feeding times, location of litter boxes, and when the people in their lives are home.  However, "routine" for a cat includes the other cats they live with - the ones they see every day, eat with and sleep next to.  How they see their world includes all of these things and the stability of each element contributes to a cat's content world view.

Losing a companion cat represents a change to that world and a cat's sense of contentment.  Something is missing, and that missing piece can impact different parts of a cat's daily life.  How cats react to that change can vary a lot depending on how much of an attachment there was between the cat that's gone and the one still in the house.  Most pet parents are well aware of the relationships that exist between the cats in a household and should also be able to signs of grieving in a cat who has lost a companion.  Some of these signs mirror what humans experience.

A mourning cat may show lose their appetite, be listless and sleep more than usual, choose to be alone or even hide more often.  In 1996 the ASPCA conducted the Companion Animal Mourning Project and found several trends in cats experiencing a loss in their lives:
 - 46% of cats experienced a decreased appetite following the loss of a feline companion.
 - Many cats slept more than usual while some suffered insomnia.
 - Some cats changed the area of the house where they slept.
 - About 70% of cats exhibited changes in vocal patterns; some meowed more while
          others were quieter than they were before their loss of a companion.
 - Surviving cats were often more affectionate with their owners and became clingy.

Cats can also mourn stages like people do.   icatcare.org notes the first, usually short, stage might include a cat meowing a lot and looking for the missing cat by wandering from room to room.  Because cats don't understand that death is permanent, they may continue to look for a cat that is suddenly missing from their home, waiting for him to come back.  The second phase can include a cat being withdrawn and not eating normally.  The third stage, which again mirrors one humans experience, is acceptance, when a cat's character may change and they become more devoted to their people or another cat in the house.  These stages are different for each cat and vary in how long they can last while some cats may not ever show any changes in behavior at all.

If your cat is grieving, how can you help him?  Even though you're mourning the loss of your cat yourself and are certainly upset, it's important that you stay aware of the cats you still have.  Keeping your cat's routine the same is critical.  They will be comforted by having things be as they always were - feed them at the same time, don't move favorite cat beds, keep litter boxes clean.

Although you might want to remove the deceased cat's bedding, food bowl and toys right away for your own grieving process, leaving them in place could be good for your other cats.  Letting the cat's smell fade slowly over time will allow them to adjust slowly to the idea that the cat isn't coming back.  Your cat will react to your emotions, so how you're feeling when you show him extra affection and love at this time makes a difference.  If you already know your cat is grieving through other signals, let him show you when and how much attention he is comfortable with.

If there are physical signs that your cat develops after a loss, like going days without eating or drinking, not using the litter box normally - call your vet right away.   A thorough exam and review of behavior will likely suggest some things that can be done to help.  Some people feel that getting another cat or kitten right away will help ease a cat's grief but that's not always the case.  If a cat is missing his companion, he's not likely to welcome a newcomer right away.  Go slow with that process.

So, despite the common belief that cats are loners and aloof, they do get attached to their people and the other cats they live with.  When a death occurs, it's not just an interrupted schedule that impacts them, its the loss of someone who is integral to their lives.  Just like humans, each cat will be different in how they respond to that loss.  A loving pet parent will be super vigilant about what their cat is experiencing and, even while going through their own grief and loss, will find ways to comfort them.

CLICK HERE to read more on feline bereavement from icacare.org.
CLICK HERE to read more on how to help a mourning cat.
CLICK HERE for some additional information and advice on feline mourning.